


The World is Very Quiet Without You Around

by marvelousrats



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A triple threat lmao, ADHD Tendou Satori, Aftercare, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Consensual Non-Consent, Depression, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Marijuana, Paris (City), Self-Harm, Tendou calls Ushijima cutesy French nicknames I don't make the rules, Ushijima Wakatoshi is a Good Significant Other, because this fic is ~spicy~, maladaptive daydreaming, quarantine fic, self destructive behavior, starting off with a few big ol trigger warnings, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29093322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelousrats/pseuds/marvelousrats
Summary: He pulled his sweatshirt over his nose as he watched the movie through half closed eyes. His vision blurred when he remembered the last time he watched this movie was the last time Ushijima was in Paris. He imagined the feeling of Ushijima’s arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him tighter against his warm body. He let himself fall into the fantasy.“I’ve missed you, Wakakun,” he whispered to the air. Ushijima pressed a kiss to Satori’s neck.“You too, my love.” He slid his hand down his abs and thigh. He pictured Wakatoshi’s warm fingers pressing into his bare leg instead of his own cold hands. He spread his thighs apart and slid his hands up his pale skin that was littered with long since healed scars.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a Lemony Snicket quote because I am a sucker 
> 
> Holy shit ya boy is PROJECTING. Quarantine and college are teaming up to beat the absolute shit out of me so I wrote this to feel better and to process my own emotions lmao. Anyway, yeah, read the tags because there is a lot of triggering mental health issues in here, so proceed with caution. Also yes, there is a consensual non consent scene in this but it is CONSENSUAL and there is extensive negotiation before hand. I do not have a reason for this other than my brain is horny, sad mush. 
> 
> You can give me a follow on tumblr [here](https://cowpokezuko.tumblr.com/) and instagram [here](https://www.instagram.com/thepoormediocreartist/) for some really cool art

Tendou Satori was curled up on his couch with his back to the TV that was playing a French game show that he was too high to pay attention to. Light and cold air spilled into the apartment’s living room through a crack in the thick curtains that covered his opened window. He shivered when a gust of wind disturbed the thin line of smoke that rose from a half smoked joint in an ashtray. His body felt heavy and the feeling of numbness clung to his currently fried brain. His phone buzzed but he was too busy trying to convince himself he wasn’t going to die to check it. He ignored the twist of hunger in his stomach as time slogged on. He didn’t know how many more times his phone buzzed before he gathered enough energy to roll over and check it. He frowned at the three missed calls from Ushijima and the two texts of ‘Satori, pick up your phone’. He turned on the ‘do not disturb’ feature and re-lit the joint. After a long draw he decided he wasn’t sober enough to talk to Ushijima, so he curled back up with a soft sigh. 

The show ended and the news came on. Satori forced himself to tune in as they reported the incline of coronavirus cases in Paris. He hugged his knees up to his chest when the President announced that schools and universities would be closing for the foreseeable future. He chewed on his already bleeding lip until he couldn’t take the news of the pandemic anymore and he sat up to change the channel. He landed on an American movie that he’d seen a hundred times already about two cowboys who fell in love on a mountain. He pulled his sweatshirt over his nose as he watched the movie through half closed eyes. His vision blurred when he remembered the last time he watched this movie was the last time Ushijima was in Paris. He imagined the feeling of Ushijima’s arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him tighter against his warm body. He let himself fall into the fantasy. 

“I’ve missed you, Wakakun,” he whispered to the air. Ushijima pressed a kiss to Satori’s neck.

“You too, my love.” He slid his hand down his abs and thigh. He pictured Wakatoshi’s warm fingers pressing into his bare leg instead of his own cold hands. He spread his thighs apart and slid his hands up his pale skin that was littered with long since healed scars. “I want you, Satori,” Wakatoshi rumbled. His hand slipped under Satori’s sweatshirt and his cold fingers skated across one of his nipples. He pulled at it and chewed on his lip until he could taste blood. 

“No, please, Toshi.” He moaned softly as his other hand rubbed his cock through his boxers. “N-no, stop please.” 

He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He pushed back the fantasy of Wakatoshi pinning him down against his will and fucking him despite Satori’s pleas for him to stop. “Why am I getting turned on by that again? That’s literally r-rape.” He stuttered as he finally admitted to himself what his fantasy entailed. He dragged one hand down his face and turned back to the TV. “I need to stop getting high in the middle of the day.” He concluded.

He barely paid attention to the rest of the movie, instead opting to imagine what it would be like to herd sheep with Wakatoshi. He figured that he’d like how free it was to be in the mountains with nothing but the sheep and Wakatoshi to judge him, but he also realized that Wakatoshi would be very centered on the task at hand and would probably end up doing the bulk of the work. 

As the movie drew to an end, a knock came from the door. He quickly hid his ashtray in one of the coffee table’s drawers and sprayed the air and his own body with air freshener. He ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame the greasy locks. Another knock came and he shouted “ _ Un moment _ !” He rubbed tears out of his eyes and slapped his cheeks before he walked over to the door and opened it. 

“Hello, Satori.” Ushijima smiled at him. Satori grinned and flung himself into Wakatoshi’s arms. 

“What are you doing here,  _ cheri _ ?” Satori asked as he rubbed his nose against Wakatoshi’s neck. 

“Things are shutting down in Japan and I figured the same would happen here soon enough. I don’t want you to be alone. I tried to call you when I landed in Frankfurt, but you didn’t pick up.” He stroked Satori’s back with the hand that wasn’t on his luggage. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, baby.” He leaned back and kissed the tip of Wakatoshi’s nose. “Sorry, I didn’t pick up. I was busy,” he said. “Then I just forgot about it.” 

“It’s okay, my love.” Wakatoshi leaned in and brushed his lips against Satori’s cheek. 

“Well, come on in. Also I think I killed your plants, sorry.” Satori grabbed Wakatoshi’s hand and pulled him inside. 

“It’s okay, we can get new plants.” He squeezed Satori’s hand. They went into the bedroom and Satori sat on the bed while Wakatoshi unpacked his clothes. 

“How was the flight?” Satori asked, flopping onto his back. He rubbed his eyes again, trying to force some sense back into his clouded brain. 

“Long,” he replied. “You still haven’t unpacked from when you visited in December.” He flipped open the suitcase that was sitting on top of their dresser, knocking a pile of dirty laundry to the floor. 

“Just haven’t gotten around to it.” Satori shrugged. 

“It’s been three months, my love.” He sat down next to Satori and placed a warm hand on the top of his thigh, avoiding the thin scars. Satori rolled onto his side, away from Wakatoshi. “Would you like me to help?” He rubbed small circles on his leg with his thumb. 

“Yeah.” Satori nodded. “I watched Brokeback Mountain today. I missed you.” He rolled over to face Wakatoshi. He reached up and cupped his jaw. “I always miss you.” 

“I missed you too. When I first heard that Covid cases started cropping up in France, I almost got on a plane that day.” He grabbed Satori’s wrist and pressed a kiss to his palm. “They’re talking about cancelling the upcoming season.” 

“Oh, ‘Toshi, I’m sorry.” He sat up and patted his cheek lightly. “Hey, then you could spend the summer with me, baby.” He smiled. 

“I’d love to, but they haven’t made any decisions yet.” He tucked a strand of red hair behind Satori’s ear. He ran a thumb over his cheekbone and pulled him into a kiss. Satori wrapped his arms around his neck and smiled into the kiss. Wakatoshi’s lips were soft against his own chapped ones. “You smell like weed.” He said when he broke the kiss. 

“I know. I’m kinda high.” He chuckled. He leaned in and kissed Wakatoshi again. “Do you want some?” 

“No thank you.” He stroked Satori’s hair. “When was the last time you showered?”

“Uh, maybe last week? I don’t really remember.” He buried his face in Wakatoshi’s neck. “Sorry, I just haven’t had the energy.” He inhaled Wakatoshi’s scent of airport and sandalwood. 

“It’s okay, love. We can take a shower in a bit.” He stroked Satori’s back. 

“Thank, babe,” he mumbled. They sat like that until Satori pulled his face out of Wakatoshi’s neck and kissed him again. He licked at Wakatoshi’s lips until he opened his mouth with a soft moan. Satori eagerly explored the new landscape with his tongue. He slipped one of his hands up his sweatshirt and felt the hard muscles underneath. 

Wakatoshi grabbed his wrist when he slipped his hand down the back of his pants. “You’re not sober, Satori.” 

“I’m sober enough.” He tried to pull his hand out of Wakatoshi’s grip. 

“No,” he said. He kissed the knuckles of the hand he was holding. “Later, my love, when you can give proper consent.” 

“So chivalrous, Wakakun.” He tapped Wakatoshi’s nose lightly. “Consider, I’m definitely sober enough and I want you inside me.” 

“I’m not going to take advantage of you, Satori,” he said. 

“But I want you to.” His mind flicked back to his earlier fantasy. He flopped back onto the bed and pulled up the hem of his shirt, exposing a sliver of pale skin above his boxers. Wakatoshi leaned over him and grabbed his hips. Satori bit his lip when Wakatoshi’s hands landed on his more fresh cuts.

“Later, my love, I promise.” He kissed Satori again. “Have you eaten recently?” 

“Not really.” He replied and chewed on his lip. “I forgot.” Wakatoshi smiled, softly and sat up. 

“Come on, you need to eat.” He walked toward the kitchen. Satori stood up with a groan and followed him. He rubbed his eyes and finally realized his head was clearing up. He sat on the counter while Wakatoshi poked around the kitchen. 

“Y’know I’m the one with the culinary degree. I should be cooking,” he said. 

“You look like you’re about to fall asleep.” Wakatoshi said as he washed some rice. 

He yawned and said “maybe so.” He slumped forward and leaned onto his knees. His eyes blurred out of focus as he thought about his earlier fantasy. He pictured Wakatoshi bending him over the counter and fucking him hard and fast. 

“What are you thinking about?” Wakatoshi asked while he chopped vegetables, shaking Satori out of his thoughts. 

“I want you to rape me,” he mummbled without thinking. When he realized what he said he buried his head in his hands and refused to look at Wakatoshi. “Oh fuck,” he hissed into the heel of his hand. 

The sound of chopping stopped. “What?” Wakatoshi said.

“Have you ever heard of ‘consensual non-consent’?” Satori said, still not looking up.

“No.” 

“Okay, basically I want you to hold me down and fuck me while I struggle and say no. Also we have a predetermined safe word and we can stop at any moment if it gets to be too much,” he explained. “Sorry. That’s weird I know. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Wakatoshi grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. Satori tried not to notice the way Wakatoshi’s large hands made his wrists look even skinnier. 

“Are you still high?” He asked, studying Satori’s eyes. 

“Nope. Just really fucked up.” He did a peace sign with one hand that was still in Wakatoshi’s grip. 

“Why do you want me to do that, my love?” His olive eyes were flooded with worry. 

“I uh, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks and I just want it to happen so I can move on.” He glanced away from Wakatoshi and chewed on his bottom lip. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

“You did not. I’ve been harassed by fans before.” Wakatoshi smirked. Satori chuckled softly. “Do you really want me to do that to you?” 

“Yes. I do.” Satori nodded. 

“Okay, love. How should we go about this?” He let go of Satori’s wrists and went back to chopping up vegetables. 

“Well, maybe like Friday evening or something you pick me up, throw me on the bed and ‘rape’ me.” He said with air quotes. “Jesus, that feels weird to say.” He grimaced. Wakatoshi nodded slowly and poured the vegetables into a pan. “And I’ll struggle and shit.” He pulled at a loose piece of skin on his lip with his teeth. “Just let me know a little bit before you do it so I can prep, then we don’t have to worry about that part. Also you can, like, hit me and bite me, but no toys or anything. It would ruin it.” 

“Would the normal ‘green, yellow, red’ work for the safeword?” Wakatoshi asked as he poured sake into the pan. The warm scent of spices filled the kitchen as the curry cooked and lightened the mood of their rather dark conversation. 

“Yeah, that should be fine.” He stared at a spot on the floor and crossed his legs in front of himself. Wakatoshi walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his chest, his chin dropping onto his shoulder. Satori nosed at his soft, brown hair, enjoying the way it moved when he exhaled. “I’m glad you’re here. I maybe haven’t been taking the best care of myself.” His voice was strained, like he was about to cry. “I’ve just been so caught up in work that my health took a back seat. So did my hygiene and mental health. Then throw in all the news about the Coronavirus and you being away for so long, it’s just been a lot.” 

“It’s okay, Satori, I should have done a better job checking in with you,” he muttered. 

“No, don’t blame yourself, it’s just gonna make me feel worse,” he said. Wakatoshi just nodded silently. He nudged the thick fabric of Satori’s hood out of the way with his nose so he could press kisses to the pale skin underneath. Satori smiled and tangled his fingers in Wakatoshi’s hair to keep him pressed into his neck. He started to absentmindedly hum a song that had been stuck in his head for a few days now. He could feel Wakatoshi smile against his skin. Wakatoshi’s hands dragged down his back and slipped under the hem of his hoodie. The warm pads of his fingers traced over his hips and up his sides until they ran across the bandages that covered new cuts. Satori squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on Wakatoshi’s hair. He bit his lip and waited for Wakatoshi to start scolding him. “Please don’t be mad,” he whispered.

“I would never be mad at you for this, my love.” Wakatoshi pulled his face out of Satori’s neck. “I didn’t know it was this bad.” He squeezed the uninjured part of Satori’s hips lightly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Satori looked away from Wakatoshi’s intense gaze. “I,” he paused when his voice cracked. “I just needed to take my mind off of everything. I know it’s bad but it’s fucking addicting. Old habits die hard and all that.” He smiled bitterly, but he could feel tears prick at his eyes. 

“How long has this been happening?” He asked, softly. 

“Um, a few weeks. I don’t know why it just came back, ‘cause I haven’t done it in years, but here we are, I guess,” he said. Wakatoshi nodded and pursed his lips. He didn’t say anything for a few moments, just stared at Satori. 

“Recovery isn’t linear,” he said finally. “You’re still going to therapy and taking your medication, right?” 

Satori nodded and said “When I remember.”

“Have you been eating?”

“Not as much as I should, probably. But ritalin fucks my diet,” he scoffed. After studying Waktoshi’s confused frown for a moment, he added, “I barely feel hungry when I take it, so I don’t eat until it wears off, then I eat way too much.” Wakatoshi nodded. “At least I get to accomplish tasks sometimes. Too bad those usually don’t involve my laundry or the dishes,” he said, sarcastically. Wakatoshi stroked his hips with his thumbs sympathetically. “My antidepressants aren’t working that well anymore, though. I need to get my prescription changed. I was gonna ask about it next week.” He tried to smile reassuringly, but he figured it came off as very fake. 

“Good,” Wakatoshi said. Then he leaned in and kissed him. Satori wrapped his arms around Wakatoshi’s neck and kissed back. “Oh fuck, the curry,” Wakatoshi said after a moment. He extracted himself from Satori’s long arms and went back to cooking. Satori giggled and slid off the counter. He draped himself over Wakatoshi’s back and watched over his shoulder as he cooked. He let go briefly so Wakatoshi could separate the food onto two plates, instead opting to cling to one of his biceps. He took one of the plates and sat next to Wakatoshi at the kitchen table, their sides pressed together, eating in silence. Satori’s mind quickly drifted away from their meal and he started thinking about what he would do if he was on a game show like the one he was watching earlier. Wakatoshi tapped his thigh and drew him back to reality. “Your food is going to get cold, Satori.” 

“Right, sorry.” He nodded and poked at his rice before finally eating it. Wakatoshi took out his phone and played one of the playlists Satori had made for him. Satori tapped along to the beat with the hand that wasn’t on his chopsticks. He quickly finished his food, reveling in the feeling of having a full stomach after a day of barely eating anything. “That was delicious, Wakakun.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. The corners of Wakatoshi’s mouth twitched up into a small smile. Satori wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned on his shoulder while he finished eating. He started to ramble about a manga he’d been reading to fill the quiet. Wakatoshi occasionally asked a clarifying question, allowing Satori to happily go even deeper into the worldbuilding of the manga. When Wakatoshi finished eating, Satori ushered him into the living room and they sat down on the couch. Satori laid across his lap, his head resting on his muscular thighs. Wakatoshi ran a hand through his hair, untangling the greasy, red strands. Satori flicked through the Netflix menu page, occasionally commenting on one the titles he came across. He finally landed on a Pokemon show from 20 years ago. He sang along to the intro, having it memorized when he was a child. “How was your flight?” He asked before remembering that he’d asked once before. 

“It was very long. The food was very bad,” Wakatoshi replied. 

“Was the in-flight magazine interesting, at least?” Satori smirked, well aware of Wakatoshi’s habit of reading the ads instead of the actual content. 

“It was decent. Maybe we should go skiing in America next winter,” he said. 

“Did’ja see an ad about it, baby?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes. Apparently Montana has some excellent mountains.” He gently pulled apart a snarl as he spoke. 

““I’d go skiing in America. I haven’t been there before,” he replied. Wakatoshi nodded and picked at another knot. Satori’s mind flitted back through their past few ski trips back in Japan. He smiled when he remembered their first ski trip in high school and how bad he had been. He touched a scar on his forearm from the first time they went skiing in the Alps. “We should shower after this episode." Wakatoshi said, dragging him out of his thoughts. 

“You don’t have to do everything for me, y’know,” Satori said. “I’m an adult man.”

“I know, I just like taking care of you. If you want me to stop, I will.” He said as he ran a warm thumb down Satori’s cheekbone. 

“Please don’t.” He turned his head so he could kiss Wakatoshi’s fingers. “I love you,” he mumbled.

“I love you, too, Satori,” he rumbled. He pushed the red hair off Satori’s forehead, gently dragging his nails over his scalp. Satori closed his eyes and hummed softly. He slowly drifted to sleep, Wakatoshi’s fingers carding through his now untangled hair and the shower forgotten. 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sappy cafe dates and deep seated insecurities ftw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe not me projecting onto Satori again lmao. Anyway more tw for self harm/ed/cnc mentions but that's like a running theme. Also content warning for French because it's a garbage language and I hate it. However I took two years of it in hs so now I'm going to be annoying about it. 
> 
> You can give me a follow on tumblr [here](https://cowpokezuko.tumblr.com/) and instagram [here](https://www.instagram.com/thepoormediocreartist/) for some really cool art

When Satori woke up, he was in his bed with his blanket pulled up over his ears. He sat up and groaned at the pool of sweat he woke up in. He shucked off his damp sweatshirt and dropped it on the floor. He checked his phone for texts from Wakatoshi and was disappointed to find none. He was halfway through anxiously scrolling through his Instagram before he remembered that Wakatoshi was here. That he wasn’t alone anymore. He grinned and rolled out of bed, whistling as he walked out of the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen and found Wakatoshi poking at the mostly dead plants on the windowsill above the sink. Satori slid up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to the back of his neck and said, “ _ Salut, cheri _ .” 

“ _ Salut _ ?” Satori could hear Wakatoshi’s eyebrow raise without even seeing it. 

“ _ Oui, c’est chic, mon amour _ ,” he said. “I’m going local. Maybe I’ll get a beret.” 

“I support your beret acquisition,” he replied. Satori giggled and nosed at Wakatoshi’s soft hair. “What do you want for breakfast? I can make something if you don’t want-”

“ _ Non, nous allons à la café. _ You are in Paris,  _ chéri." _ He grinned. Wakatoshi turned around and leaned in to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around Satori’s chest, his calloused hands slid over his bare shoulders. Satori shuddered slightly, finally feeling the cold air against his back. He leaned against Wakatoshi’s broad chest and sighed happily into the kiss, letting his warmth seep into his body. “ _ Mon  _ _ radiateur personnel _ .” He mumbled when he pulled away. 

“What does that mean?” Wakatoshi frowned. 

“ _ Pas problem _ .” Satori waved one hand. “You need to learn some French, baby.” He chuckled. Wakatoshi shrugged in response and pulled him into a kiss. Satori slid one hand down from it’s place on his waist to squeeze his ass. Wakatoshi snorted, breaking the kiss. “ _ D’accord _ , I need to take a shower. I woke up covered in sweat one too many days in a row.” He gave Wakatoshi a quick kiss before pulling out of his grip. “Make a pot of coffee while I shower?” He smiled. Wakatoshi nodded and smiled briefly. Satori walked into the bathroom and frowned when he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He stretched his arms above his head and cringed at the way his skin stretched over his ribs. He dropped his arms with a sigh and picked at one of the bandaids on his hip. He peeled it back and stuck out his tongue at the thin red line that marred his pale skin. He leaned over the sink and pulled at a loose flap of skin on his dry lips. His face scrunched up when blood stained his lower lip. He quickly licked it away and stood up straight. “That’s not useful, Satori,” he said to himself. He dragged a hand through his hair and scoffed at the way the grease made it stand up. “Shit, fuckin’ forgot my phone. Nice going dumbass.” He mumbled as he walked out of the bathroom to get it. “Gonna get my phone, because I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts,” he sang to himself. 

“Did you say something, Satori?” Wakatoshi asked from closer than Satori expected, causing his heart to jump into his throat.

“What the fuck?” He gasped and turned to look at him. “I thought you were still in the kitchen.” Wakatoshi smiled fondly. “How are you so large and also so quiet? I should get you a cat bell. Or a cow bell for you, Ushi.” He snickered at his own joke. 

“I love you, but that was not funny,” Wakatoshi said flatly. 

“Oh come on.” Satori rolled his eyes and went into the bedroom to grab his phone. 

“I’m just saying you have better material, darling.” Wakatoshi called after him. “You don’t have to resort to puns.” 

“I appreciate your criticism,  _ mon vache _ .” He pulled Wakatoshi into a kiss as he walked by him on his way back to the bathroom. 

“‘My beef?’” Wakatoshi frowned. 

“My cow, but yeah, my beef.” He shrugged.

“Cows are females,” he corrected. “Bulls are male and steers are castrated males.”

“Fine.  _ Mon taureau _ ,” he said. “Alright, shower time.” He snapped his fingers and pointed at the bathroom as he walked. He avoided looking at himself as he got ready to shower. He spent a little too long letting the water run down his back, washing a week’s worth of grime off. He made a face as he scrubbed his hair, wondering how Wakatoshi could stand touching him for so long the previous night. After he rinsed the shampoo out, he began his weekly showdown with the conditioner bottle. He knew he’d feel better if he conditioned his hair, but he didn’t really want to take the time to do so. He leaned against the wall and side eyed the purple bottle, promising him he’d smell like lavender after. “Fuck, fine I’ll do it,” he conceeded and conditioned his hair. He got out and toweled off. He’d long since given up on gelling his hair back so he just swept it off his forehead in an attempt to look better. He wrapped a towel around his waist and immediately decided to over-dress for his breakfast date with Wakatoshi. He tucked a white button down into a pair of black jeans and pulled a Schweiden Adlers sweater over it and added maybe a few more silver accessories than necessary. He dragged a ring covered hand through his damp hair and winked at himself in the small mirror in their bedroom. 

He found Wakatoshi cutting leaves off their dead plants and lining them up on their kitchen table. Wakatoshi dragged his eyes down his body as he walked toward him. A smirk slid across Satori’s face as he leaned down to kiss him. “Whatcha doin’, baby?” 

“I’m going to propagate the surviving leaves so we don’t throw away potentially useful herbs,” he said. Satori’s smile softened and ruffled Wakatoshi’s hair. 

“Should we go now, or do you want to finish this first?” He leaned on Wakatoshi’s shoulders and watched him arrange the cuttings into bundles of similar sizes. 

“I’m almost done. There’s a cup of coffee for you on the counter,” he said. 

“ _ Merci _ .” Satori tapped Wakatoshi’s shoulders as he stood up straight. He sat on the counter as he drank his coffee and watched Wakatoshi work. 

A few minutes later, Wakatoshi set the jars of plant clippings on the windowsill and nodded matter of factly at his handiwork. Satori quickly chugged his coffee, not wanting to make Wakatoshi wait even longer. He coughed when some of the hot coffee went down the wrong pipe. “Cool, let’s go.” He wheezed. He bit his lip as he watched Wakatoshi pull on his black leather gloves. Satori’s breath caught in his throat when he flexed his hands, causing the leather to shine. “I want you to wear those when you rape me,” he said. Wakatoshi furrowed his brow, his olive eyes dark and serious. He reached out and grabbed Satori’s jaw.

“You really want that?” His voice shook Satori’s core. 

“Yes.” He licked his lips. Wakatoshi pulled him into a kiss. Satori moaned softly. He rested his hands on Wakatoshi’s hips and leaned into the kiss. He broke their kiss and pressed his forehead to Wakatoshi’s. “Breakfast. I haven’t taken my ritalin so I’m actually hungry. And don’t tell me to take it right now, it’s the weekend. I don’t have to.” Wakatoshi raised an eyebrow skeptically, but didn’t object. Satori grabbed one of his gloved hands and pulled him out of the apartment, quickly locking the door on the way. 

“I know I’ve taken you to this cafe before, but in my defence, it fucking slaps.” He said as they rounded the corner and the cafe came into view. The comforting smell of ground espresso hit Satori’s nose as they walked in. The large windows at the front of the store provided most of the lighting in the small room. Pastries and baked goods were elegantly lined up in glass containers. A few customers sat alone at tables, some already wearing masks, unfortunately reminding Satori of the current state of the world. He forced a smile onto his face and tried not to think about the climbing disease rates. “ _ Salut _ , Alexis.” Satori chirped when he recognized the brunette behind the cash register. 

“ _ Salut _ , Satori.” The barista gave him a wave and a smile. 

“Yeah, I come here a lot,” he said to Wakatoshi. “So,  _ cheri _ , did you bring your wallet by any chance? Because I realized, like, halfway here that I forgot mine.” He smiled. 

“It is okay, I have mine.” Wakanoshi nodded and squeezed Satori’s hand. 

“Good, good.” Satori squeezed back. “What do you want, love, I’ll order it.” 

“A black coffee and a croissant,” he replied.

“That all?” Satori raised an eyebrow. Wakatoshi nodded. “ _ Ciao, Je voudrais un pain au chocolate, un petit mocha glace, un croissant, et un petit cafe noir, si tu plait. _ ” He smiled at the barista. 

“ _ Bien sûr _ , Satori.” They nodded. “ _ Qui est toi ami _ ?” they asked while Wakatoshi paid. 

" _ Il est mon petit ami _ .” Satori grinned. 

“ _ Oh, bein _ .” They smiled back. “Nice to meet you,” they said to Wakatoshi in English. 

“You too,” Wakatoshi replied, also in English. 

“ _ Votre nourriture sera prête dans un instant _ ,” they said. 

“ _ Merci _ , Alexis.” Satori waved. 

“Thank you.” Wakatoshi said in English. They went and sat a table along the window and watched the streets of Paris roll by.

“Look at that tiny dog in the fuckin’ purse.” Satori grinned and pointed at it. 

“That’s very… Californian,” Wakatoshi said flatly. Satori snorted. 

“I bet it has some stupid American name too,” he giggled. “Like Buster or some shit.” Wakatoshi smiled. “So what do you want to do today, cheri?” 

“Perhaps we could go walk by the Seine or in a park,” he said.

“Sounds good, baby.” He grabbed Wakatoshi’s hand and kissed his gloved knuckles. “I’ve missed going on walks with you.” He rested his chin on their hands, reveling in the smoothness of the leather against his skin. “I don’t go on walks without you. More than my daily commute anyway, but that’s more trains and shit anyway.” 

“Satori?” Alexis called out. Satori kissed Wakatoshi’s knuckles again before he went to pick up their breakfast. 

“Should we walk while we eat?” He handed Wakatoshi his food. He nodded and got up from his chair. When they got outside, Satori launched into a complaint about a man who was rude to him at work a few days earlier. As they got closer to the Seine the wind picked up. Satori quickly finished his pain au chocolat so he could hold Wakatoshi’s forearm in an attempt to warm up.   
“Why did you get an iced coffee in the middle of March, Satori? It’s basically still winter.” Wakatoshi raised an eye as he watched Satori shiver. 

“I’m queer, Wakakun.” He scoffed. 

“How are those two things related?” He frowned. 

“I don’t know, stereotypes and all that bullshit.” He shrugged. 

“Aren’t stereotypes bad?” he said. 

“Yeah, but sometimes they’re true. Most gay people like iced coffee. You’re, like, the only one I’ve met that doesn’t,” he said. 

“It’s too watery,” he said quietly. 

“I know, baby.” Satori squeezed his arm lightly, familiar with Wakatoshi’s anti-iced coffee spiel. “I have ruined my taste buds with a lot of alcohol and weed, so you and I are just going to have different opinions on this.” He giggled. 

Wakatoshi furrowed his brow but nodded. “No matter what, you should have worn a coat.”

“Hear me out, I look really hot right now. And as the Americans say, A hoe never gets cold.” He grinned. 

“But you are cold and you aren’t a piece of gardening equipment.” Wakatoshi frowned. 

“That’s not what- y’know it’s just a turn of phrase and that’s not the type of ‘hoe’ I was referring to.” Satori waved a hand. 

“Oh, you meant the sexual kind.” He nodded. 

“Yeah. Anyway, I’m not even that cold.” He shrugged. 

“You’re shaking, Satori. Would you like to go home?” He said before finishing his last bite of croissant and taking Satori’s hand into his own. Satori could feel the heat of his skin through the thick leather. He sighed happily, feeling like a real person for the first time in months. He leaned into Wakatoshi’s side, trying to soak up more of his warmth. 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be okay.” He squeezed Wakatoshi’s hand and gave him the most sincere smile he’s felt in months. “Anyway, what was I talking about?” Wakatoshi shrugged in response. “Shit. Well, uh, how’s Kageyama-san and the rest of the team?” Satori asked. 

“They’re good. Nervous about the possible cancelation. Kageyama says that Hinata says hi,” he said. 

“Aw, Hinata remembers me?” Satori clutched their hands to his chest. 

“You got drunk with him last time you were in Japan,” he said. 

“Oh yeah, those MSBY bastards are fuckin fun to drink with.” He smirked. “At least I assume they are, I don’t remember it at all.” Wakatoshi chuckled. Satori’s face went hot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lmao. I really appreciate it :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horny pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some vanilla ass sex because I'm soft but also horny. Also more discussions of self harm so beware of that.

Satori’s fingers were almost numb by the time they got back to the apartment. He settled on the couch with a fluffy blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his laptop open to the latest chapter of a manga he’d been reading. “Join me, cheri.” He grabbed Wakatoshi’s wrist and pulled him onto the couch. He settled himself between his warm thighs and hummed happily when Wakatoshi wrapped a strong arm around his waist. He tapped his fingers against Wakatoshi’s knee while he read. After he finished the chapter, he turned on the TV and switched to the cooking channel. He translated the whole choux pastry recipe for Wakatoshi and typed it up on his computer as they watched. Wakatoshi rested his head on Satori’s shoulder and nodded every so often. When Satori looked over at him, he looked almost asleep. “Jet lag?” Wakatoshi nodded slightly. “I can shut up if you want to sleep.” He fought back the notion that no he absolutely could not. 

“I do not mind,” he rumbled. The deep vibrations of his voice shook Satori’s lithe frame. He smiled softly and scratched the top of Wakatoshi’s head. He talked in a quieter voice as he continued to translate the recipe into Japanese. Eventually Wakatoshi’s breath evened out and his head lolled to the side. Satori closed his laptop and shifted so their chests were pressed together and nosed at his neck. He stared at a painting of a horse Wakatoshi had bought last time he visited his father in America until his vision blurred and his mind went blank. 

He startled and gasped when Wakatoshi woke up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Wakatoshi placed a large hand between his shoulder blade. “How was your nap?” Satori asked. 

“Refreshing,” he replied. “Did you fall asleep or just disassociate the whole time.” He smiled softly. 

“Shut up.” Satori snickered. He leaned up and kissed Wakatoshi. “It’s still relaxing.” 

“I know.” Wakatoshi brushed their noses together. “Are you hungry?”

“Na, I just ate a few hours ago,” he replied. 

“One is supposed to eat every few hours, Satori.” Wakatoshi frowned. Satori grimaced. “Get up, we’re eating lunch.” He took his hand off his back. Satori rolled off him and fell hard onto the floor. He winced when his elbow hit the ground. “What the fuck, Satori.” 

“It’s fine, don’t even worry about it.” He stood up and walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and frowned at the rather empty shelves inside. Wakatoshi walked up behind him and grabbed his hips. “Hey baby.” Satori cradled his face in one hand. Wakatoshi peppered kisses up his neck. “Oh shit I have a bunch of croissants that I froze and a comically large jar of nutella. That’s food.” He smiled triumphantly. 

“Barely,” Wakatoshi said. Satori’s heart dropped. He knew it wasn’t the best meal but it tasted good. His mind raced to defend his poor eating habits and to keep Wakatoshi from being mad at him. “But I’m glad you’re eating something,” he finished. “Do you have any cheese or meats so you get some actual protein?”

“Do I have any cheese? Motherfucker, I live in France. Of course I have cheese.” He opened his cheese drawer and grabbed a few of his fanciest varieties. “Here take these, I think I have half a baguette somewhere.” He handed the cheese to Wakatoshi and dug through his pantry until he found said baguette. Then he heated up two frozen croissants in his toaster oven and slathered them in Nutella. Satori explained where each kind of cheese came from and when he got it. Wakatoshi listened intently, dutifully tasting every slice of cheese Satori handed to him and giving his honest opinion on each. 

After lunch, Satori pulled Wakatoshi back to the couch. Wakatoshi’s arms wrapped loosely around his waist and their legs tangled together. Satori kissed and nipped at Wakatoshi’s neck lazily, enjoying the feeling of his broad body against his own lithe frame. Wakatoshi trailed his fingers up and down Satori’s spine absentmindedly. His hand slid lower to grab the inside of Satori’s thigh and pull him closer to his chest. Satori moaned softly and nuzzled the crook of Wakatoshi’s neck. He inhaled deeply, taking in his earthy scent. “You smell so good, cheri,” he mumbled. He cupped Wakatoshi’s jaw and pulled him into a kiss. His other hand slid into Wakatoshi’s hair and he pulled lightly. He licked at his lips until Wakatoshi opened his mouth so he could slide his tongue inside. He tasted like chocolate and brie. He shifted so he was straddling Wakatoshi’s waist. Wakatoshi placed his hands on Satori’s slim waist and squeezed lightly. Satori winced when his fingertips dug into the cuts on his skin. 

“Fuck, I am sorry.” He rubbed his cheek against Satori’s. 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry.” He waved a hand and smiled. 

“Satori-” Wakatoshi started to say something, but he was cut off by Satori pulling him into another kiss. He sighed softly and rested his hands on Satori’s shoulder blades instead. Satori slid his hands down Wakatoshi’s front and under his shirt. His long fingers dragged over hard muscle and he swiped a forefinger over one of his nipples. Wakatoshi bit down on Satori’s lower lip. Satori smirked and repeated the action. He pinched lightly, drawing a gasp out of Wakatoshi. 

“Lemme ride you,” he mumbled into the corner of Wakatoshi’s mouth. 

“Fuck, yes.” Wakatoshi swung his legs off the couch and picked Satori up by the thighs.

“You’re so strong, Wakakun,” Satori purred. 

“You’re underweight,” Wakatoshi replied bluntly. 

“Shaddup,” he groaned. His face flushed and he buried it in Wakatoshi’s neck as he was carried to the bedroom. He grunted as he was dropped, unceremoniously, onto the bed. “Hey, I thought you were trying to take care of me.” He snickered as he pulled his sweatshirt over his head. 

“Sorry.” He climbed over Satori and leaned down to kiss him. Satori tangled his fingers in his hair and kissed him harder. Wakatoshi pried his hands out of his hair and pinned his wrists to the bed. “Stay still.” He instructed. Satori nodded eagerly, his eyes hungry as Wakatoshi sat back and pulled his shirt over his head. He tossed it onto the floor and went to work undoing Satori’s belt. Satori lifted his hips so he could pull them down. Wakatoshi pressed a kiss to the skin above his boxers before pulling those down as well. Then he undid the buttons on Satori’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Satori sat up so he could take the shirt the rest of the way off. “What did I say, Satori?” Wakatoshi said, his voice low and even. Satori cocked his head as he worked off a few of the rings he was still wearing, Wakatoshi’s earlier command forgotten. He stared at him for a moment before he remembered.

“What? Oh, right.” He chuckled guilty as he laid back against the pillows. “Sorry.” 

“No need to apologize, love.” He leaned down and kissed his collarbone. His lips dragged over the three chain necklaces Satori was wearing. “Where’s the lube?” He asked as he unbuckled his belt. 

“Fuck if I know.” Satori shrugged. They stared at each other for a second. “What? I haven’t used it in a while.” 

“Where do you usually keep it?” 

“I don’t know. Check the nightstand drawers and if it’s not there it might be in the coffee table drawer on the right hand side,” he said. Wakatoshi frowned, but nodded. He got off the bed and dug through the nightstand for a few moments before reluctantly leaving the bedroom. Satori took off the rest of his jewelry and put it on the nightstand. He laid back on his pillows and spit in his palm. He let the saliva drip onto his half hard cock before stroking it a few times. He chewed on his lip as he continued to jerk himself off. He silently begged his antidepressants not to ruin this for him. He sighed softly as he swiped his thumb over the head. 

“You were right, it was in the coffee table.” Wakatoshi said as he walked back into the bedroom. “Why was it in the coffee table, by the way?” He asked. 

“The TV doesn’t leave me alone with my thoughts,” he replied. Wakatoshi raised his eyebrows skeptically, but didn’t say anything. He set the lube on the nightstand so he could take off his pants and position himself between Satori’s legs. He leaned down to kiss him again, his hands dragging down the outside of his thighs. 

“You’re fucking beautiful.” Wakatoshi breathed as he took in the miles of pale skin. Satori flushed and looked away from his intense gaze. 

“You said I was underweight,” he replied. 

“You’re still beautiful.” He slid his hands up Satori’s sides, avoiding the bandaids, and pressed kisses to his sternum. Satori clenched his jaw as Wakatoshi’s fingers dragged over the ribs that jutted out of his skin. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He nipped at one of Satori’s pecs. His tongue dragged over a pink nipple before he closed his mouth around it and sucked at it until it was hard. Satori moaned and dug his fingers into Wakatoshi’s shoulders. 

“Fuck me,” Satori said, his voice already ragged. “Please I need you. It’s been so fuckin’ long, cheri.” 

“Of course, my love.” Wakatoshi said and bit the soft skin of Satori’s pec. He sat up and spread Satori’s slim thighs further, pausing to admire his spread out appearance. He dragged his tongue over one of the thin scars that marred his thighs. “Perfect,” he mumbled into the porcelain skin. He pressed his lips to the inside of his knee. Satori flushed and turned his face into the pillow. Wakatoshi grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at him. “I mean it.” He pushed his thumb into Satori’s mouth. Satori licked and sucked at it eagerly, enjoying the weight of it against his tongue. “Later I have to get my cock in that pretty mouth of yours.” He smirked. Satori’s eyes widened in excitement, his irises a thin ring of blood red around his pupils. “I’ve missed stuffing you with my cock,” he said. “Jerking off just isn’t the same as filling your perfect hole.” 

Satori said something unintelligible around his thumb. Wakatoshi removed it so he could talk properly. “I haven’t been jerking off that much, antidepressants kill your sex drive. So we’ll see how this goes. But that’s better than wanting to consistently kill myself I guess. Though it might impair this whole experience. Usually if I grind one out quickly it works out but-”

“Focus, Satori.” Wakatoshi cut off his rambling. 

“Right, sorry.” He chuckled softly. “I think I’d focus better if you were inside me.” 

“I’m getting there, love.” He said as he squeezed copious amounts of lube onto his fingers. 

“Okay, hurry up. I want to ride you.” He hooked his long legs around Wakatoshi’s waist, digging his heels into the small of his back and grabbed at his shoulders, digging his fingernails into the muscle. 

“I know, Satori.” He collected Satori’s wrists in one hand and pressed them into the mattress above his head. “Stay there, love,” he said, his voice low and commanding. Satori pouted but did as he was told. Wakatoshi trailed his middle and ring finger over Satori’s hole, making him shiver. He let the pad of his middle finger slip inside. Satori moaned and grabbed at the pillow. 

“Please, cheri.” He was about to grab at Wakatoshi before he remembered his earlier command. Instead he tugged on his lower lip with his teeth until he tasted iron. Wakatoshi met his eyes as he bit and sucked Satori's hipbone and rubbed at his hole with lubed fingers. Satori threw his head back into the pillow and moaned as Wakatoshi finally slid his calloused middle finger into him. Soft moans fell out of his mouth and his hands grabbed at the soft cotton as the thick finger slid deeper into him. “Baby, please.” He gasped. “More.” He tried to wiggle his hips back onto Wakatoshi’s hand. 

“Stay still, Satori.” He draped his free forearm over his waist and held him down. Satori tried to buck against the solid muscle and groaned when he couldn’t move. Wakatoshi smirked and slid his finger in the rest of the way. Satori moaned when he crooked his finger, the pad of it pressing into his prostate. 

“Shit, I’ve missed this,” he gasped softly. Wakatoshi nodded in agreement. He leaned down to suck at Satori’s nipple while he fucked him with his middle finger. “Fuck, Wakakun, your mouth.” He arched his back and tried to grind his cock into Wakatoshi’s arm. He whined whenever Wakatoshi dragged his finger over his prostate. “Please, I want more.” 

“You’re so desperate,” he mumbled into Satori’s chest. “I almost forgot you were such a whore.” He bit down on the soft skin of his pec. “So quick to beg for my cock.” He pressed another finger into Satori’s hole. Satori bit his lip, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline. 

“Please, I need it, I need you. I haven’t had anything even close in so long. I need your perfect cock.” He begged. “Need you to fill me up, cheri.” 

“Patience, Satori.” He said before he started to suck on the other nipple. Satori gasped when his teeth dragged over the sensitive skin. He wanted to tangle his fingers in Wakatoshi’s hair, but he also didn’t want to disobey him, knowing that would slow down the whole process. He tried to buck his hips again, hoping to relieve some of the tension in his cock. 

“Ngk, please,” he panted. He was amazed at the way Wakatoshi could take him apart with just two warm fingers and his mouth and he wasn’t sure if due to the months apart or if he really was just a desperate whore. “Faster. I just wanna get this over with.” 

“It’ll go as fast as I please.” Wakatoshi growled, his eyes dark and serious. Satori closed his mouth and furrowed his brow. He whined as Wakatoshi scissored his fingers, stretching him open. A few moments later, Wakatoshi slid a third finger into him. Satori moaned at the feeling of fullness he hadn’t experienced in months. He turned his face into the pillow and keened as Wakatoshi’s thick fingers pressed into his prostate.

“Please, I’m ready. I want you now,” he groaned when he felt loose enough. He looked down at where Wakatoshi was sucking at his nipple. “Lemme ride you.” Wakatoshi nodded and slid his fingers out of him. Satori grimaced as lube leaked out of him. Wakatoshi laid next to him and Satori swung a leg over his thighs. He ground their cocks together, panting at the slide of precome and sweat. He poured lube onto his hand and stroked Wakatoshi’s large cock a few times. “God, your cock is so perfect.” He leaned down and licked the tip. Wakatoshi bucked his hips, his cock sliding along Satori’s cheek, spreading precome and lube over his skin. “You ready, cheri?” Wakatoshi nodded. Satori grinned and positioned his hips over his cock and slowly slid down on it. He squeezed his eyes shut and held Wakatoshi’s shoulders as he took the cock the rest of the way. He groaned as Wakatoshi’s thick cock split him open. He panted as he adjusted to the familiar stretch. “Jesus, you feel so good.” He threw his head back as he rolled his hips slightly. “Fuck, Toshi. So...big,” he gasped. Satori lifted his hips up slowly, moaning at the drag. Wakatoshi grabbed his hips, careful to avoid the bandaids, and pulled him back down on his cock. Satori shouted when the head of Wakatoshi’s cock hit his prostate. He bounced slowly, his eyes squeezed shut and his back rigid. 

“You’re so tight, Satori,” Wakatoshi mumbled. 

“Whose fault is that, Mr. It’ll go as fast as I please?” Satori said through clenched teeth. 

“Don’t make jokes while I’m inside you.” 

“Being a comedic genius isn’t-oh fuck- a choice.” He stuttered when he shifted his legs. Wakatoshi sighed and thrust his hips up to meet Satori’s, making him gasp. Satori bit his lip and tried to catch his breath. He ducked his head down to bite at Wakatoshi's neck, smirking when red marks bloomed on his tan skin. Wakatoshi pulled him into a hungry kiss, swallowing down Satori’s moans as he fucked himself on his cock. Satori gasped as Wakatoshi’s cock hit his prostate. Saliva slid off Satori’s tongue and dripped onto Wakatoshi’s chest. He sat up and tried to clear his mind. He ran a hand through his hair and rolled his hips to meet Wakatoshi’s thrusts. 

“God, your cock...ah...Toshi...” He gasped. He slammed his ass down against Wakatoshi’s hips with a shout. His hands slid down Wakatoshi’s chest to pinch at his nipples. He smirked when he pulled at them and Wakatoshi arched off the bed. “I missed these.” He squeezed his thick pecs with a grin. His fingers toyed with Wakatoshi’s nipples until they were red and puffy. He trailed two of his fingers down the center of Wakatoshi’s abs until he reached his own cock. He stroked it a few times, his head falling back with a sigh. Wakatoshi sat up and buried his face in Satori’s chest, making him whimper at the new position.

“You’re so pretty.” He said and pressed kisses to the sweat slicked skin. His hands slid up Satori’s back to tangle in his red hair. Satori moaned softly when his cock rubbed against Wakatoshi’s hard abs. 

“You’re one to talk.” Satori smirked when he caught his breath. He rested one hand on Wakatoshi’s broad shoulders and tangled the other in his soft hair. “You’re a fucking-ah-walking wet dream, cheri.” His nails dug into hard muscle. Red crescents formed in Wakatoshi’s soft skin under his hands. “All perfect muscles and tan skin. I must be the envy of every girl in Japan.” He panted, still bouncing in Wakatoshi’s lap. “I’m so fucking lucky that I get to see you like this. Sweaty and panting all for me.” He slid his hands to his jaw to pull him into a kiss. Wakatoshi moaned softly into his mouth, allowing Satori to lick into his mouth. He pulled away and pressed a kiss to a freckle just above Wakatoshi’s lip. He trailed his tongue over his cheek bone and kissed one of the freckles on his temple. “Fucking perfecting,” he whispered into his skin. Skin against skin and their panting was the only sound that filled the bedroom for a few moments before Satori’s mind started to wander. His movements became slow and robotic as he zoned out, his eyes fixed on a scratch on the bed frame. He gasped when Wakatoshi grabbed his jaw and pulled him into a kiss and back to the present.

“Do you want to switch positions?” He asked when he pulled away. Satori nodded. He hooked his hands under Satori’s thighs and flipped them over. Satori wrapped his legs around Wakatoshi’s waist and dragged his nails down his back. He clenched his jaw when Satori’s nails bit into his skin. He collected Satori’s wrists into one hand and pressed them into the pillow above his head. 

“Keep them there for me, love,” he instructed. 

“So commanding, Wakakun.” Satori purred and ground his ass against Wakatoshi’s hips. He moaned as his cock pressed against his prostate. “Shit, you fill me up perfectly, cheri.” He twisted his fingers in the pillow and smiled smugly. Wakatoshi hooked one of Satori’s legs over his shoulder before he started to pound into him. His large right hand gripped Satori’s slim waist, pulling him back against his cock, and he held himself up with his left. Satori let his eyes slide shut and lost himself in the feeling of being filled over and over. Moans and gasps fell out of his mouth with each one of Wakatoshi’s powerful thrusts. A tight knot built in his stomach as he felt his orgasam approach with each hit to his prostate. He looked up and his red eyes met Wakatoshi’s olive ones. Satori’s heart jumped at the dark shadow over his face. Sweat rolled down his temple and dripped onto Satori’s cheek. His lips were drawn back over his teeth in a small snarl, adding to the animalistic look in his eye. Satori whimpered softly and tried to pull Wakatoshi closer with his legs. “H-harder, please, fuck me harder,” he gasped. Wakatoshi grunted and snapped his hips, fucking Satori hard and fast. His fingers dug into Satori’s hip, leaving light bruises on the pale skin. 

“You look so good on my cock, Satori,” he hissed. “Fuckin’ pretty.” He nosed at Satori’s hair. 

“You’re- ah- so sweet to me, Toshi,” Satori moaned. He wrapped his arms around Wakatoshi’s neck and dragged his nails up his back. 

Wakatoshi took his hand off Satori’s hip and tangled it in his hair. He pulled at the red strands until Satori was forced to look up at him. “What did I say about your hands?” He growled. Satori’s face went hot and he quickly placed his hands back on the pillow. “Good.” He nodded and reached between them to stroke Satori’s cock. 

“Fuck, Toshi, ‘m close,” he gasped. He arched off the bed and rolled his hips into Wakatoshi’s hand. “Ha- you feel so good.” He twisted his fingers into the pillow. His eyes drifted shut when Wakatoshi captured his lips in a kiss. He moaned softly when Wakatoshi licked into his mouth. His breath grew thin and his thighs trembled as he got closer to his orgasam. Wakatoshi pulled away and pressed their foreheads together, strings of saliva still connecting their mouths. “I’m gonna cum.” Satori whined and reached up to tangle his fingers in Wakatoshi’s hair. 

“Cum for me, love,” Wakatoshi purred into his ear. Satori arched against Wakatoshi’s chest as he came over his stomach with a drawn out moan. Wakatoshi fucked him through his orgasam, gripping his soft thigh in a large hand. When Satori stopped shaking, Wakatoshi grabbed both his hips and fucked him mercilessly, chasing his own orgasam. Satori closed his eyes and let himself be used like a toy. He let out soft whimpers at the overstimulation and the blunt nails digging into his skin. “Do you want me to pull out?” Wakatoshi asked a few minutes later. 

“Yeah,” he sighed. He groaned when Wakatoshi pulled out of him, leaving him empty. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt cum splash across his stomach and chest. Warm fingers ran across his abs then prodded at his lips. He sucked at the cum slick fingers until they were clean. They were soon replaced by Wakatoshi’s lips. He smiled and tangled his finger in his soft brown hair. “Clean me off.” He smiled when they pulled apart. Wakatoshi nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead before rolling off of the bed. Satori bit his lip as he watched him walk away, appreciating the way the afternoon light made his tan skin shine. He snickered at the red scratches that marked the otherwise smooth skin of Wakatoshi’s back. Wakatoshi looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “I can see why you wanted me to keep my hands off your back,” he said. “Your back looks like my fuckin’ legs.”

“That’s not funny.” Wakatoshi frowned and walked out of the room. 

“Goddamn it. Yes it is!” Satori yelled after him, a smile spreading across his face. He touched one of the bite marks on his chest, briefly wondering if it would affect his ability to wear open button downs for the next few weeks. He yawned and smiled softly at Wakatoshi when he walked back into the bedroom. 

“Drink this.” He handed Satori a cup of water and sat next to him on the bed. He wiped off his stomach with a damp cloth while Satori drank. Satori bit down on the rim of the glass when Wakatoshi peeled a bandaid off his hip. “I noticed it was falling off while I was fucking you.” He explained as he put a new one on. 

“I love you.” Satori put his hand over Wakatoshi’s.

“I love you, too.” Wakatoshi flipped his hand over so he could intertwine their fingers. His other hand cradled Satori cheek, swiping away the lube and precome that had started to dry there with his thumb. “We should talk about this.” He dragged a finger over the bandaid he’d just replaced. 

“Should we?” He tittered. Wakatoshi frowned, unamused. “Right, sorry. I-I’ve been having a hard time paying attention to anything not related to work and it fucking sucks, but doing that,” he gestured at the cuts, “clears my mind so quickly and makes focusing so much easier. Like ritalin is great and all, but it’s not a catch all solution and it fucking drains me so I don’t want to take it when I don’t have to.” 

“When did it start up again?” He stroked Satori’s hair, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

“Just a few weeks ago. I couldn't wash my dishes for like four days and I just needed to get my stupid thoughts out of my fuckin’ head so I just…” he dragged a finger along his hip. “And it worked. So I kept doing it.” He turned his head so his cheek was resting in Wakatoshi’s palm. “Now I can’t stop.” He sniffed, nuzzling against Wakatoshi’s warm skin. 

“What helped you concentrate before you relapsed?” he asked. 

“I don’t know, drugs, of the legal and illegal variety, jerking off, talking to you, talking to my other friends, napping at inopportune hours, ordering food online, ordering other bullshit online, all those really healthy coping mechanisms I picked up at university,” he said. 

“Have you told your therapist about this?” 

“Not yet. It slipped my mind” He chuckled sardonically. “I will tell her this week. I promise.” He grabbed Wakatoshi’s hand and held it over his heart. “And I can actually accomplish tasks when you’re here so hopefully it won’t be as tempting.” 

“What difference does that make?” he asked. 

“I don’t know, I just like it when you’re here and it’s easier to feel like I can do something when someone else is there to do a thing with me.” He shrugged. “S’pose you got here at the right time.” He ran a finger down Wakatoshi’s jaw. “Someone needs to keep my tight ass in line.” He patted Wakatoshi’s cheek and grinned. 

“Don’t be flippant.” Wakatoshi frowned. 

“Aw, but I love being flippant.” He pouted mockingly. “It’s very fun, cool, and sexy of me.” 

“Well, you are very fun, cool, and sexy, so maybe there is something to your flippancy.” Wakatoshi chuckled. Satori laughed and pulled him into a kiss. 

“Haha, you like me.” He teased. 

“We’ve been dating for two years, my love.” He kissed Satori's nose lightly. “Of course I like you.” Satori grinned and buried his face in Wakatoshi’s neck. 

“I love you.” He mumbled. 

“I love you too, Satori.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lmao. Kudos and comments are appreciated❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, thanks for reading, comments and kudos are my lifeblood so feel free to leave a few.
> 
> Edit: I forgot that Shiratorizawa being one of those rich schools that take their students skiing because they can afford it wasn't a widely accepted headcanon so I just added a lil backstory for that reference.


End file.
